About a month ago my roommate and I had a bonding experience where I didn't have a job or money and so she bought me dinner and afterwards went to a pet store to look at puppies. We didn't see any puppies but we left with two hampsters. The lady who sold them to us said they were too young to tell what gender they were but Brittany and I are very confident that we have a boy and a girl--Luke and Lorelei. This belief comes from some very in depth research on Brittany's part and was pretty much confirmed when we caught them doing the dirty in their 'Timber Tent.' And that's why we have the honor code. If Lorelei is not pregnant than she has really let herself go. She has recently taken a fond liking to jumping off the 'Timber Tent' in the hopes that she will escape her cage. After a week and a half of not even touching the top you'd think she would give up hope. But no, she keeps on trying. She gets props for her dedication.
Also, I'm pretty sure Luke is scared of her because he just hides in the 'Timber Tent' all day. Sometimes when they misbehave, Brittany and I threaten to take it away. We're such good parents. Brittany wears the pants in our relationship. She's our breadwinner since I no longer have a job. I had been working at this tiny little call center for like a month but I couldn't stand it so I quit.
I was a telemarketer, which I didn't like, and I was one of very few LDS people who worked there so it just wasn't a good environment. Plus the pay was not enough to justify working a job I hated. So now I am looking for a new job. I'll take just about anything that isn't a call center. But I need to find something quick because I don't want my parents paying my rent again or my roommate buying me anymore food. That makes me feel pathetic. If I were smart I would woo boys into taking me on dates and feeding me. But A. I'm not that heartless and B. Provo boys only date skinny girls. I think next time my bishop or--more likely--my dad asks why I'm not married I'm going to tell them I'm a lesbian.
The moral of the story is, don't buy hampsters unless you know what gender they are.
THE END.
What I'm listening to:
Not Over You - Gavin DeGraw
Turpentine - Brandi Carlile
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Greg Laswell
Ghosts - Laura Marling
Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Luke and Lorelei? I LOVE it!!!! I hope things look up soon :) Let me know if I can do anything for you. I mean it.
ReplyDeleteA. I like your post and your header is amazing and why don't you design one for me? B. If you are going to post that you quit your job, you probably should have informed your mother of that fact first, so she doesn't end up having major panic attacks. C. NEVER buy 2 hamsters. I'm pretty sure I taught you better than that. D. Keep on writing. I like to read what you have to say.
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