Birthday Wish List in HD

Disclaimer:

I want expensive things this year.

1. American Eagle Jeans

Something a little more like this:

Less Like this:

I mean it's cute, but not really my style.

2. Knitting Supplies

• Yarn--Preferably in dull, muted colors:

Grays

Browns

Creams

But if you are going for a bit of color, go with mustard yellow

Really I just want some more variety in my collection. I like a lot of colors but I've noticed lately with my knitting that I tend to want soft, muted colors more. I want yarns with different textures and weights. Yarns that don't have that synthetic shine and look a little more natural and organic. So you know, the expensive yarn. Sorry, it's what I want.

• Knitting needles

Circular

I couldn't find a picture but anything below a size 8. I don't know how it happened but I have two size 8, size 10, and size 11 needles. 

3. New scriptures

I've had mine since I was 6 and pretty much the first half of Mosiah 2 is colored in sparkly pink crayon that I think I got at the same time.

Nothing crazy, just a black bonded leather regular indexed quad.

4. A Nikon D90

I'll probably want this for the rest of my life until I either get it, or I die. Which ever comes first. It's so pretty.

5. A year subscription to picnik premium

And that's pretty much it.

Sorry :/ I didn't really make that easy.

It Happened On A Thursday

Seeing as how I don't have a job and I don't go to school I have a lot of time on my hands. Since most of my friends do go to school and/or work, once a week--usually Tuesday--on her day off, my friend, Briana and I, take advantage of the spare time and go on an adventure. Her day off was on Thursday last week and so decided to drive up into the mountains to a place I remember from when I was little. Cascade Springs.

It was so much fun. It was a perfectly perfect fall day. I had so much love for God and everything in this world He's created. We spent our time walking around looking at how beautiful the world  is. I was in awe and in that moment, I couldn't help but think that even though the events and situations in my life may not be ideal, there is so much about my life and life in general that is perfect and will never let you down. The leaves will always change colors, the sun will always rise, and tomorrow will always hold something new. I'm trying so hard to see the positive in the world. I want to notice what the good things are because I can't stand to dwell on the bad. It was just a good trip with a good friend.

I had songs playing that I knew would put me in a good mood. Simple songs that have lines like, 

"I know the shape of your hands because I watch them when you talk

And I know the shape of your body 'cause I watch it when you walk"

It's lines like these that just really emphasize to me how simple things in life can be. Beauty is all around and it doesn't take much to find it.

PICTURE TIME!!

Briana is so beautiful :]

 I had a little fun with the camera.

Adventures are fun when good friends are involved.

The Grass Just Died On My Side

I am really distressed today.

     To give you a little background, I have been living on my own since January. Not the longest time, but I'm sure you can relate to when you first left home, how difficult it was at the beginning. In that time I have been getting residency to go to college and have been thinking that, maybe that would not be the best plan for me, as I am a professional procrastinator and probably would not be very successful in a formal classroom where my success depended on my efforts. So instead I've been looking for work.

     I spent the summer lifeguarding and loved it. I had fun supervisors, fun coworkers, and a fun environment. The summer was possibly one of the best I've ever had. I made some great friends and did some pretty cool stuff. However, the end of the season meant the end of a job and I now find myself looking for work again.

     Originally, I had my heart set on moving to Arizona to work with my cousin who owns a photography business down there. He is incredibly talented and I love what he does. It would have been an amazing opportunity for me, but unfortunately, that plan didn't work. Since I was working so hard to go to Arizona, I decided to sell my fall contract to someone who would just be here during that time. It worked out pretty well until my plans fell through. In the meantime I have been living with my aunt and uncle who live in the area while continue to find a job that will keep me busy and able to pay rent. I knew I had to find a new place to live in October, but I guess September just went a lot faster than I had anticipated and I now have to find a new place to stay. It kind of crept up on me.

     Between that and trying to find a job, any job, that some over-qualified college kid here doesn't want, I'm just discouraged. I don't like that feeling but the truth is, if I don't find some way to make my life here work, I have to move back home. Not that I would mind being with my family, it's just that where they're living now has never been home for me. I've been there once since they've lived there. It would be a complete culture change and I would have to be there longer than I would like. I love my family, but I think we're all in agreement that I am where I need to be, I just have to find a way to make it work. That's always the trick.

     I can't help but think, I was really happy here. Just a matter of weeks ago. I couldn't imagine how anyone could not love life and living and everything good in the world. I saw how beautiful the world is and all that cheesy optimistic crap. Lately, however, everything has turned gray. I feel as if I'm heading toward something and I don't know what it is. Metaphorically speaking, the greener grass on the other side was the grass I was on. I was in a state of being where things couldn't get much better for me, and without even realizing it, that grass turned brown and I think it finally died, just today. Figuring out life is not fun and I don't really want to do it anymore.

That's where I'm at today.

But tomorrow will be better. It usually is.