MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON

I've been super busy lately and I haven't been into the whole blog thing. I really suck at it. I always try to make myself sound all funny and cool, but I don't exactly know how to do that. So I'm just going to try to be myself. I figure that's about my best option right now.

So, I got a job. I'm a Billing Professional at APX Alarm. So basically if you have an APX Alarm system in your home and you're behind on your payments, you very well could receive a call from me. If that's the case, you're lucky because I'm the nice one in the department. Be nice to me please. I love it. I take some of the strangest calls sometimes. People are so bizarre and interesting.

I called a lady named Billie yesterday, which A. I think girls named Billie are legit, and B. her son--at least a kid I'm speculating is her son--answered the phone and took like 5 minutes (but more likely seconds) to figure out who I was asking for. The phrase, "ummmmmmmmm, who?" was uttered about 4 times before he actually went to go get Billie whom I didn't actually know was a women at the time. So while said kid is going to get Billie, another kid gets on the phone and starts beat boxing but really badly because he was like 7, again, I'm speculating. I had to hold my mouth closed to keep from laughing, it was the funniest thing I've ever heard. In the middle of the beat boxing the kid stops to kindly inform me that Billie is on her way and continues right back on beat boxing. Best call ever.

I'm not dating anyone. That's probably a random thought to you, but it's pretty much all I think about. Because I think I secretly want to be dating someone. Not anyone in particular, actually, like everyone in particular, but I'm intimidated by almost every guy. Also I get that guys have like really fragile egos and whatever and they need a little building up, and I keep telling myself that I can totally flirt with some guy and build up his ego, but I totally can't. I'm cocky in my thoughts. And a whimp in reality. I don't know how I ever mange to talk to guys. I'm like, the most awkward person I know. I'm so never getting married.

Also no offence Mom and Dad, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm never kissing in front of you guys. There is like nothing more embarrassing in my mind. Don't know why, but I'm pretty sure that would be the most awkward experience of my life. Love you guys though.

Music calms my soul and mends broken hearts. There's this playlist on 8tracks.com called 'Song to Lie on Your Bed and Stare at the Ceiling too' that I'm pretty much in love with. I already knew most the songs so it's not that it's new music or anything, but I never would have put that label on them. And then of course I had to try it. My world has changed, by that tiny little action. Try it sometime. Turn on music, lie on your bed, and just stare at the ceiling. My heart just stopped a little bit because I thought the playlist ended, it didn't, we're good. This is a good playlist. A good playlist is like a good pair of socks. I'm not exactly sure how but I'm sure if you think hard enough about it you can find some way to make that connection.

I've decided that they should have a special queue for people named Marcel at work so that I can't ever talk to them, because I can't keep a straight face. If you've ever seen "Marcel the Shell with Shoes On," you'd understand why. Best YouTube ever. I giggle to myself whenever I have to talk to someone named Marcel and I'm always really tempted to ask them what they use as a pen. Also I really want to answer my phone, "Hello, this is me." But I can't because I'm a Billing Professional, emphasis on the professional part. My job isn't perfect in that sense. I could go on for hours about my thoughts just regarding "Marshe.... oh, that's not the first time I've done that." I can pretty much quote the whole thing too. I have no life.

I have a lot to do tomorrow. I have to do laundry and clean out my car, and find a cute boy to fix my car, and call the guy I rear-ended back, and get insurance, and yeah that's pretty much it. At least that's all I can think of. I'm also not thinking about it too much because my brain function is super low tonight and I'd like to keep it that way.

What I'm listening to:

See the Sun (Alternate Version) - The Kooks

You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

How Could Life Get Any Better - Nik Day

Lovely Obsession - Caleb Blood

Love Affair - Copeland

Jezebel - Iron & Wine

Josephine - The Wallflowers

I'll Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab For Cutie

Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens

All That I Want - The Weepies

Holy, Holy, Holy - Sufjan Stevens

Winter Song - Sara Barielles and Ingrid Michaelson

All My Bells Are Ringing - Lenka
Hey Mambo, Mambo Italiano - Rosemary Clooney
The Ballad of You and I - Melee

Birthday Wish List in HD

Disclaimer:

I want expensive things this year.

1. American Eagle Jeans

Something a little more like this:

Less Like this:

I mean it's cute, but not really my style.

2. Knitting Supplies

• Yarn--Preferably in dull, muted colors:

Grays

Browns

Creams

But if you are going for a bit of color, go with mustard yellow

Really I just want some more variety in my collection. I like a lot of colors but I've noticed lately with my knitting that I tend to want soft, muted colors more. I want yarns with different textures and weights. Yarns that don't have that synthetic shine and look a little more natural and organic. So you know, the expensive yarn. Sorry, it's what I want.

• Knitting needles

Circular

I couldn't find a picture but anything below a size 8. I don't know how it happened but I have two size 8, size 10, and size 11 needles. 

3. New scriptures

I've had mine since I was 6 and pretty much the first half of Mosiah 2 is colored in sparkly pink crayon that I think I got at the same time.

Nothing crazy, just a black bonded leather regular indexed quad.

4. A Nikon D90

I'll probably want this for the rest of my life until I either get it, or I die. Which ever comes first. It's so pretty.

5. A year subscription to picnik premium

And that's pretty much it.

Sorry :/ I didn't really make that easy.

It Happened On A Thursday

Seeing as how I don't have a job and I don't go to school I have a lot of time on my hands. Since most of my friends do go to school and/or work, once a week--usually Tuesday--on her day off, my friend, Briana and I, take advantage of the spare time and go on an adventure. Her day off was on Thursday last week and so decided to drive up into the mountains to a place I remember from when I was little. Cascade Springs.

It was so much fun. It was a perfectly perfect fall day. I had so much love for God and everything in this world He's created. We spent our time walking around looking at how beautiful the world  is. I was in awe and in that moment, I couldn't help but think that even though the events and situations in my life may not be ideal, there is so much about my life and life in general that is perfect and will never let you down. The leaves will always change colors, the sun will always rise, and tomorrow will always hold something new. I'm trying so hard to see the positive in the world. I want to notice what the good things are because I can't stand to dwell on the bad. It was just a good trip with a good friend.

I had songs playing that I knew would put me in a good mood. Simple songs that have lines like, 

"I know the shape of your hands because I watch them when you talk

And I know the shape of your body 'cause I watch it when you walk"

It's lines like these that just really emphasize to me how simple things in life can be. Beauty is all around and it doesn't take much to find it.

PICTURE TIME!!

Briana is so beautiful :]

 I had a little fun with the camera.

Adventures are fun when good friends are involved.

The Grass Just Died On My Side

I am really distressed today.

     To give you a little background, I have been living on my own since January. Not the longest time, but I'm sure you can relate to when you first left home, how difficult it was at the beginning. In that time I have been getting residency to go to college and have been thinking that, maybe that would not be the best plan for me, as I am a professional procrastinator and probably would not be very successful in a formal classroom where my success depended on my efforts. So instead I've been looking for work.

     I spent the summer lifeguarding and loved it. I had fun supervisors, fun coworkers, and a fun environment. The summer was possibly one of the best I've ever had. I made some great friends and did some pretty cool stuff. However, the end of the season meant the end of a job and I now find myself looking for work again.

     Originally, I had my heart set on moving to Arizona to work with my cousin who owns a photography business down there. He is incredibly talented and I love what he does. It would have been an amazing opportunity for me, but unfortunately, that plan didn't work. Since I was working so hard to go to Arizona, I decided to sell my fall contract to someone who would just be here during that time. It worked out pretty well until my plans fell through. In the meantime I have been living with my aunt and uncle who live in the area while continue to find a job that will keep me busy and able to pay rent. I knew I had to find a new place to live in October, but I guess September just went a lot faster than I had anticipated and I now have to find a new place to stay. It kind of crept up on me.

     Between that and trying to find a job, any job, that some over-qualified college kid here doesn't want, I'm just discouraged. I don't like that feeling but the truth is, if I don't find some way to make my life here work, I have to move back home. Not that I would mind being with my family, it's just that where they're living now has never been home for me. I've been there once since they've lived there. It would be a complete culture change and I would have to be there longer than I would like. I love my family, but I think we're all in agreement that I am where I need to be, I just have to find a way to make it work. That's always the trick.

     I can't help but think, I was really happy here. Just a matter of weeks ago. I couldn't imagine how anyone could not love life and living and everything good in the world. I saw how beautiful the world is and all that cheesy optimistic crap. Lately, however, everything has turned gray. I feel as if I'm heading toward something and I don't know what it is. Metaphorically speaking, the greener grass on the other side was the grass I was on. I was in a state of being where things couldn't get much better for me, and without even realizing it, that grass turned brown and I think it finally died, just today. Figuring out life is not fun and I don't really want to do it anymore.

That's where I'm at today.

But tomorrow will be better. It usually is.

Why Sleep?

So... maybe I'll be good about posting for the first little while, but I'm sure I'll get bad at it at some point. Mark my words! If you look at the time stamp you'll see it's super late. But I need to do something. Currently, I have a whole big box of projects I have to finish, start, and/or redo. The majority of it is a collection of various yarns I have no clue what to do with and so I thought I would figure it out tonight. However, the blog world is so giant I didn't really know where to begin looking for a knitting project to work on. 


About a year ago I learned how to knit these super cute headbands, take note.


Super cute, right? I thought so. The thing is, I'm not a big hat person. Or a headband person. Regardless, I love these things, but I want something else. I want to find something else I can make so I don't have to spend my nonexistent money on cute things. Really, that's my life's ambition; be cute for as little money as possible. I'll let you know how it goes. This could take a while. I have a tendency to call it quits and never actually finish any of the "projects" that I start. Hence the whole big box as mention above. Better luck this time, I hope!

What the!?

A blog? For me? Could it be? Indeed, I am writing a blog. Currently I have no goals, no ideas, and no clue what to do with a blog. But alas, here I am.

Today is a music day. I have these days almost every other day, seeing as how, I'm addicted to music. It's my brain sometimes. I have been known to bust out in song at a moment's notice. I think it keeps life more interesting, but really I just always have a song, or multiple, in my head and no filter. I say what I think. It can be dangerous. And I digress.

Music days are usually pretty unproductive for the most part. I typically just sit at the computer and find a song or two that I really want to listen to at that moment and try to find more like it. Or I'll listen to songs I haven't heard before by artists I really like. Either way, music days just include listening to music all day. New music, old music, odd music, anything I can get my hands on. Today I'm in a, A Fine Frenzy, Meiko, Imogen Heap, Snow Patrol kind of mood. Slow, mello indie songs about life and love. Mostly the love part. I never feel like can relate, but that I could if I ever had a relationship to refer to. Oh well, as said best by Death Cab For Cutie, "someday you will be loved." 

I have to think that now is the time in my life to really become who I want to be. Because the fact is, I will get married one day and when that day comes, I don't want to be confused or unsure about who I am and what I want. I had a religious leader one time tell me, "now is your time to be selfish." I have the opportunity to steer my life in whatever direction I want it to go in. I just have to figure out what direction that is. Fun, right? Being a responsible adult sucks.

I think I might just get the hang of it one day. We'll see. For now I think I'll just run in hide from reality in my musical fortress of solitude.

Hope this whole, blog things goes well for me. Knowing me, I probably won't post anything for like a month and a half. But until then look up:

Such Great Heights

Naked As We Came

&

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

by:

Iron & Wine